UFO talk is hot right now. We’ve seen new videos purported to show encounters between American Naval aviators and unidentified aerial phenomenon (UAP), and now a former member of the Defense Department has come forward to say “we are not alone.”
So, media organizations better get ready to cover any possible stories about contact with alien life, and Americans better prepare for the angles. Given what we know about the different perspectives of various media outlets and opinion leaders, here’s a cheat sheet to what we might expect:
New York Times: “Emissions from spacecraft will speed up the effects of climate change.”
Wall Street Journal: “Energy stocks tank amid reports aliens power spacecraft with their minds.”
Fox and Friends: “The Biden administration is screwing up interstellar policy before the aliens have even arrived. Only Trump can make space great again. Or else, Democrats are working with aliens to rig voting machines, in which case the aliens should remain in Mexico. Wait, what are we talking about?”
Right wing Congressional Republicans: “President Biden planned the release of information about alien life to draw attention away from the Hunter Biden investigation.”
Left wing Congressional Democrats: “Comprehensive immigration reform must include asylum and voting rights for interplanetary travelers.”
TMZ: “Watch video of a meet-and-greet where Connor McGregor punches the alien in what is believed to be its face.”
ESPN: “NBA Commissioner suggests 9-foot-tall planetary visitor might be eligible for NBA draft.”
President Biden: “Little green men? What a bunch of malarkey.”
Former President Trump: “We are going to be build a big, beautiful wall around the whole planet to keep them on their side of the universe. And Jupiter is going to pay for it!”
USA Today: “They’re here!”
Al Jazeera: “Clerics revise ‘decency’ laws to include what body parts female aliens must cover to avoid enticing men.”
Entertainment Tonight: “Netflix and HBO battle for rights to space traveler miniseries.”
Vogue: “How to wear the new Alien Chic trend for summer.”
Us Magazine: “Brad Pitt seen getting cozy with alien. Source: ‘They’re taking it slow.’”
National Enquirer: “Oh my gosh, WE GUESSED RIGHT!”
Did I miss any? Post your own possible headlines in the comment section below.